Funny

Forwarded email is funny sometimes:

It pays to think outside the box!

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “senior special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.

“Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.”

“Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned her.

“You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?”, my wife asked incredulously.

“YES!”, stated the waitress.

“I’ll take the special then”, my wife said.

”How do you want your eggs?”, the waitress asked.

“Raw and in the shell,” my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home.

DON’T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!      We’ve been around the block more than once.

— It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. “Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. “What are my choices?” John asked.

“Yes or no”, she replied.

— A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat, she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”

— A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

— The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.

The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

— A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.” 

Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?”

The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

 A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps?”

The clerk says, “What denomination?” The blonde says, “God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.